I am feeling so anxious right now! Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with my marriage. This is weird territory for me because I'm excited and nervous about something completely off subject...a new house!
We have been searching for a new home for well over two years. Those who know me understand our predicament as far as feeling convicted that God wanted us to wait. We ended up cancelling out of two contracts because we did not feel peace and realized we could not force the issue. We had to wait on the Lord.
We decided to re-start our home search right before Christmas. We found the perfect home on an acre with a pool and it had everything else we wanted. The bad thing was we were bidding against multiple offers and had no idea what the other bids would be. The home was a foreclosure so that added a little spice to things. Unfortunately, we ended up being the 2nd highest bidder and missed out on the home by under a $1,000. What a bummer!
Then, the most amazing thing happened. Our realtor contacted us last week to inform us the buyer of that home had to cancel the contract so the home was back on the market. We submitted another offer and the bank accepted! We are now under contract for this AWESOME home!
I have been so thankful and so grateful for this chain of events. God has perfect timing and the wait has turned into a many blessings. One, we are extremely grateful and humbled by this opportunity. Two, this allows our kids the opportunity to finish out the school year at their current school. Three, we do not have to break our lease and only have a couple of months overlap. Four, it put back in perspective that God is who I need to be looking too and not myself. This would not have happened if He didn't allow it. Five, we wouldn't be in this great situation if we had heeded our own selfish desires. We would be in a home that we "settled" for instead of waiting to see what God would do. The list goes on & on.
I really feel I have learned a valuable lesson through all of this. I honestly never thought we'd find something like this or even be in a position to get it. I'm still in awe over what has transpired. I'm trying hard not to get my hopes up for fear something will go wrong. In the end, if it does, I know I'll be fine. I'll be very disappointed but I will be fine. What's more important is that I listen and obey what God desires for me.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Seeing Things Rightly
I had the oddest analogy pop in my head today. I'm reading this book in my women's group at church called Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb. In the first chapter he talks about seeing things rightly and how when our dreams are shattered we wonder why God didn't do something about it. We end up living an empty, miserable, bitter life wondering what if God had done something instead of nothing. At the end of the chapter he brings up the idea of seeing things rightly and that's when this thought popped in my mind.
It's very easy to fall into the woes me mode, blaming God for doing nothing, when all along He's working things out for our greater good but we don't have eyes to see just yet. As a believer, we may not see things clearly until we get to heaven but I firmly believe God gives us glimpses of what He's doing.
The crazy thought that popped in my mind is this: I have a cat named Snowbiscuit. She was given to us when she was less than 8 weeks old. She was solid white except for the very tip of her tail that was a light gray. I never really wanted a white cat as I didn't find them very beautiful. The cool thing is she has a great personality and loves her family, especially the kids. As she became assimilated into our family her color grew on me but I never really found her very pretty like other cats. Over time the most amazing thing happened, her color started to change. There were no spots on this cat anywhere except for the very tip of her tail. I have no idea where her coloring came from but slowly over several years she developed into a gorgeous calico cat. This may sound silly but it provides a great visual for me. All I saw when I looked at Snowbiscuit was a plain white cat with a unique personality. God saw so much more. He made a beautiful creature which He clothed in a multitude of colors. Unfortunately, with my limited vision I couldn't see it until she physically changed. God on the other hand already knew what she would turn into.
Over the past two years I pretty much developed a pessimistic attitude. I convinced myself that I had to see the worst scenario because anything else was not reality and I was just fooling myself. But what if I changed my thinking and started to see the positives and the beauty. Would I be fooling myself every time? Would I be living in a false reality or delusional? How much better would my life be if I started to see things differently? Would I be happier or sadder? Is there really anything wrong with seeing the bright side of things and believing change is possible? Change happened before my eyes with my cat. Change is happening before my eyes with my husband. Could it be that I haven't been seeing things rightly after all?
Maybe it's time I start asking God to uncover my eyes so I can see things from His perspective. Maybe it's time to stop what I've been doing, which hasn't worked too well, and see if there is a better way.
It's very easy to fall into the woes me mode, blaming God for doing nothing, when all along He's working things out for our greater good but we don't have eyes to see just yet. As a believer, we may not see things clearly until we get to heaven but I firmly believe God gives us glimpses of what He's doing.
The crazy thought that popped in my mind is this: I have a cat named Snowbiscuit. She was given to us when she was less than 8 weeks old. She was solid white except for the very tip of her tail that was a light gray. I never really wanted a white cat as I didn't find them very beautiful. The cool thing is she has a great personality and loves her family, especially the kids. As she became assimilated into our family her color grew on me but I never really found her very pretty like other cats. Over time the most amazing thing happened, her color started to change. There were no spots on this cat anywhere except for the very tip of her tail. I have no idea where her coloring came from but slowly over several years she developed into a gorgeous calico cat. This may sound silly but it provides a great visual for me. All I saw when I looked at Snowbiscuit was a plain white cat with a unique personality. God saw so much more. He made a beautiful creature which He clothed in a multitude of colors. Unfortunately, with my limited vision I couldn't see it until she physically changed. God on the other hand already knew what she would turn into.
Over the past two years I pretty much developed a pessimistic attitude. I convinced myself that I had to see the worst scenario because anything else was not reality and I was just fooling myself. But what if I changed my thinking and started to see the positives and the beauty. Would I be fooling myself every time? Would I be living in a false reality or delusional? How much better would my life be if I started to see things differently? Would I be happier or sadder? Is there really anything wrong with seeing the bright side of things and believing change is possible? Change happened before my eyes with my cat. Change is happening before my eyes with my husband. Could it be that I haven't been seeing things rightly after all?
Maybe it's time I start asking God to uncover my eyes so I can see things from His perspective. Maybe it's time to stop what I've been doing, which hasn't worked too well, and see if there is a better way.
Monday, February 8, 2010
A New Day
I think I'm finally beginning to "get it". I honestly believe I have come out of the fog and I am truly learning to live life again. I'm learning what is most important and I am learning I will make a lot of mistakes but tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. There is a Bible verse that keeps popping in my mind about tomorrow that the sun will rise in the morning. Tomorrow is a new day...
I like the idea that tomorrow the sun will rise and morning will come. The mistakes I've made today will be in the past. The sun will shine light on a new way, a new start, a new beginning. I wonder if that is how my husband feels too. I wonder if he looks back on the past and wishes it would disappear. How horrible that I sometimes make him live in the morbid past, for he is a new creation in Christ and he is forgiven. How wonderful it is to be forgiven!
Perhaps I'm starting to see my husband in a new light or perhaps I'm starting to see myself in a new light. I'm tired of living in the darkness filled with pain. I'm ready to let the light shine in!
Praise to the Father who was and is and who is to come!!! For He is worthy of all of our praise!!! For He does things I cannot fathom and extends His great mercy to those who do not deserve it. He loves us anyway and in Him there is no condemnation! Thank you Father for your great mercy and compassion. Thank you for never giving up on us!!!
I like the idea that tomorrow the sun will rise and morning will come. The mistakes I've made today will be in the past. The sun will shine light on a new way, a new start, a new beginning. I wonder if that is how my husband feels too. I wonder if he looks back on the past and wishes it would disappear. How horrible that I sometimes make him live in the morbid past, for he is a new creation in Christ and he is forgiven. How wonderful it is to be forgiven!
Perhaps I'm starting to see my husband in a new light or perhaps I'm starting to see myself in a new light. I'm tired of living in the darkness filled with pain. I'm ready to let the light shine in!
Praise to the Father who was and is and who is to come!!! For He is worthy of all of our praise!!! For He does things I cannot fathom and extends His great mercy to those who do not deserve it. He loves us anyway and in Him there is no condemnation! Thank you Father for your great mercy and compassion. Thank you for never giving up on us!!!
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