One of Those Days...

You ever have just one of those days when you want to bury your head under the covers and stay there as long as possible? I had one of those days. It didn't help that it was 38 degrees out and misting all day and I had come off of a bad night with my husband. Oh, yes, the Witching Hour happened again around midnight. I was exhausted and not feeling well and I just lost it. My poor husband ended up on the couch around 1am probably wondering how in the world he got there in the first place!

I'm ashamed to admit it but I was pretty much a complete monster! I pulled out all the big guns, fully loaded and fired away! Nothing was off limits and everthing was back on the table. I'm sure he left the room thinking I was a complete wacko and wondering what in the world he is doing living with this crazy nut job.

I have to give this man a lot of credit though. He sure does know how to endure and he is comitted to making our marriage work. I guess in a way, I am testing him to see how much he will take and so far he's taken it all. I think a part of me believes that on any given day he will walk out those doors and never come back. Not once has he ever hinted or suggested that leaving is an option. As a matter of fact, he is dead set against it and belive me, I have tried to push him out those doors. I guess since, he's not budging and I'm a wreck, it's time to do something about it...

Father, my prayer tonight is that You will greatly soften my heart towards my husband. I pray that You will allow me the opportunity to see my husband through Your eyes and to completely release these emotions over to You. I know I am not strong enough to overcome this by myself but with You all things are possible. I see the change in my husband but I am unwilling to believe it is for real. I pray You will give me the courage and the strength to believe what is real. I pray for discernment and wisdom to know the difference between reality and deception. I pray you will continue your good works in and through my husband. Continue to draw him near to You and show him Your ways. I pray you will restore my marriage to a greater level with a foundation that is built entirely on You. Please take away the anger and the bitterness and replace it with compassion and mercy. I pray this all in Jesus' precious name - Amen.