The Quietness of the Day

It's a beautiful day! Life is good, life is calm and life feels safe today. It's rare that I feel such joy and exhilaration like this. As I sit on my couch, looking out the window, I see all the beauty and wonder God has created. He doesn't want me to feel sad & depressed, He wants me to be filled with joy and peace.

Both of my children are occupied at the moment. My oldest is taking a nap trying to recover from a sleep over and my youngest is making her Grammy a birthday card. My husband is out and about running errands. He offered to wash my car and pick up a few items from the grocery store. It's nice to be able to take a moment and enjoy the quietness.

My eyes are getting heavy as I sit on the couch listening the the soft hum of the dryer. I know in a moment I'll be folding laundry but in the interim I'm allowing my mind to wonder to a good place. Oh, how sweet life must have been in the garden when Adam and Eve were first created. I bet the world looked magnificent and brilliant through their eyes filled with wonder and glory. I often speculate on what life would have been like if Adam and Eve would have chosen the better way and stood firm in what they knew was true instead of being deceived by the serpent. What would it have been like to walk with God in the garden - to see Him face to face and experience His presence without the obstacle of sin?

Oh, this leads me down the "if only" path - if only things were different, if only I had chosen the other way, if only I hadn't done that....if only. I bet Adam and Eve had those same thoughts and I bet they would have done anything to take it all back. Can you imagine how they must have felt when God chose to care for them even after they disobeyed? Things would never be as they were before, but God still loved them and He didn't abandoned them. The same is true today. God loves us and He gave us a way to walk with Him, meet with Him and to experience His presence through His son Jesus Christ. How often I take that sacrifice for granted when I don't make time for Him, when I choose to ignore Him, or when I do things my way instead of His way.

These thoughts lead me to my husband and remind me how important it is to mimic God's response by extending compassion and mercy. I know my husband wishes he could take it all back and erase what he has done. I know he would do anything to make it right and take away the pain. The ball is in my court now and it's up to me to decide. A wise man asked me on Friday what I planned to do with the knowledge that my husband passed the lie detector test. Will I choose to ignore it or will I choose to release the anger and the hurt? He guaranteed if I chose to release it that I would never once regret it.

Sitting here in the quietness of the day, I remember the first verse God lead me to after discovering my husband's infidelity. He lead me to 2 Corinthians 2:7 "Now instead you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow." At the time, I didn't fully understand it but I tucked it in the back of my mind to ponder. Now, as God continues to heal my heart, it makes a lot of sense why He chose to reveal this truth to me at the beginning instead of later. He was preparing me for what is to come...