The Lie Detector Test

The last few days have been very stressful which was sparked by my decision to have my husband take a lie detector test. I have struggled with whether or not he has told me everything and whether or not he has been truthful. It's evident he has made lots of changes in his life and his attitude has gone from pure selfish desire to a servant's heart. I think in the back of my mind, I wondered how these changes could take place so readily and quickly without hesitation. I've heard many stories of trickle truth and false reconciliation that bring you to your knees in pain for these people. It's extremely rare for the wayward spouse to confess everything at once - which is exactly what my husband claimed to do. My soul was uneasy and I wanted additional confirmation he was telling the truth.

My husband scheduled the test for Thurs. at 2pm. I could tell he was nervous and worried about taking the test, though he claimed he wasn't worried about passing it. Come to find out, there was one thing bothering him. He couldn't remember if he had told me everything about how all of this started. As he's telling me this information, I felt relieved because I knew this already but unfortunately, there was one piece of information he omitted or downplayed significantly until now.

Looking at it objectively, this new information is nothing compared to the big picture and in itself is little compared to the rest, but in my mind, I couldn't reconcile the fact that he purposefully withheld this information. He claims he didn't remember this until after he had already confessed everything. Since a lot of time had passed before remembering, he struggled with whether or not to bring it up. He didn't want to hurt me further and this information would not change or increase what I already knew.

It's great and all that he would like to spare my feelings but the truth is he lied and he withheld information. I felt excrutiating pain and devastation all over again. I wondered why in the world I should stay with this man who continues to disappoint and crush my heart. What am I doing and how much more could I take?

If I have learned nothing else, I have learned never to make a decision when the emotions are running high, whether good or bad. Decisions must be made when thinking clearly and rationally. Last night I felt defeated and empty. I thought my marriage was over because I cannot stay married to a liar. So, today at 2pm he took the lie detector test. There were a lot of people praying for us today and I felt God's overwhelming peace as I waited for the test results.

I am relieved to announce he passed the test. I am grateful he agreed to take it and I am grateful for the outcome. This has been the hardest year and a half of my life and I pray we can finally move forward once again. God has given me and my husband a second chance and I am very thankful He has bestowed such compassion and mercy when we need it the most.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19