Emotional Explosions

Well, my emotions have taken control this week. I'm not sure where or when the breakdown occurred but all I know is that for the past couple of weeks I have slowly allowed myself to lesson the hold on my emotions. At first, I'm not even aware this is happening but each day, little by little, my emotions start to seep out. Honestly, what's the big deal? So what if I'm feeling a bit emotional? After all I have been through this past year and half, don't I have a right to feel sad, angry, betrayed, disgusted, annoyed, bitter, resentful, hateful.... do you see the pattern...once my emotions are without restraint, the longer the list, the harder to handle, the easier to justify my own sinful actions.

I keep hearing the soft, gentle voice of my beloved Father, who constantly reminds me to be gentle in spirit, forgiving and merciful - to tame my tongue and to focus on that which is true & noble. Lord, how difficult it is to surrender to you instead of to my own selfish desires! Do I really feel better after giving my husband a tongue lashing? Am I really entitled to an emotional explosion whenever I "feel" like it? The answer of course is NO!

I wish I had an emotional remote control where I could mute my emotions so others couldn't hear it or I could adjust the "color" of my emotions to a more healthy outlet, or when it gets really ugly, I could just turn it off. Thankfully, I know in my heart that God is pruning me and changing me from the inside out. No matter what has happened to me or what I have experienced, it does not give me the "right" to unleash an emotional beast. God has called me and every Christian to a much higher standard whether we feel like participating or not. As women, we tend to be emotional and if we are not careful these emotions will cause us to sin. In the mist of our emotional explosions we not only hurt ourselves but everyone around us as well. Do I really want to be known as an emotional bomb waiting to detonate? Is this the best example of Christ I have for my children and my husband?

I have discovered this week that pride plays a big part in my emotional outbursts. My pride is wounded and for some reason it has decided to fester and ooze big time this week. I know the ointment and cure is the Word of God. I need to lay my pride at the feet of Jesus.